Heave Ho and Off We Go!

To my 2 regular anonymous readers:

Thanks for your support, but you know I need to get off for a while. So, its toodles for a bit from me, I dunno if and when I'll be back.

Till later.

Of Rudolph, warmth and the Big 'O'!

Since I have SOOOOOOOOOOOO much going through my head right now, lots of which I can write about and mostly stuff I can't share (sowie), I am going to be my methodical self and jot all of 'em down. It clears my head and gives you something to roll your eyes at. Win-win situation, wouldn't you say?

• So, today's the BIG day!!! "The Big O" is going to be redefined. I intend (read fervently pray) to be able to watch it on HBO, but I have a feeling that work might just get in the way. I don't quite know why I am so excited, its not like him being the US President significantly changes things for me in any way, or even for any of us regular Indians. But somehow, every time I see the turnout at one of his rallies before he became President Elect, or even now, when I see him address the people, I still get goosebumps. Kinda bandwagon/ mob mentality like behaviour, but hey, I'd rather be a part of this wagon than any other. 

• This global warming bit is getting to me now. What in heaven's name happened to the Delhi winters? The one solitary thought that keeps me going through the dreadful summer is the thought of winter. (Summer includes spring, monsoon and autumn, there is no season worth experiencing in North India other than winters). So I pine and whimper and pine and whimper and cuss my way through summer, hopeful of a nice, cold, freeze your ass, bring tears to your eyes kinda winter. And lo behold, I do get it. FOR TWO F***ING DAYS!!!!!!! Seriously, Big Guy up there, are you kidding me?????Kinda puts the entire global warming stuff into perspective. Please guys, for my sake if not yours, take care, switch off your appliances when you aren't using them, switch off your lights, turn off the ignition at traffic lights, car pool, walk, run, cycle, I dunno, just get my winters back..PLEASE!!!!

• Onto men. You didn't see that coming? Seriously? Well, no this is not a rant about men, but just yet another example of we women are obviously destined to rule the world. I was trying to reverse my car out of the driveway and onto the road, now at the risk of sounding like a lil humbug, let me assure you that my skills at reversing are not bad, in fact i'd venture to say that they're at par with most male drivers I know and better than some too. So there I am reversing and my friend decides to be the 'knight in shining armour'. Since he knows for a fact that I am a woman and hence cannot reverse, it's up to him to help me out here. So he leaps out of the car, decides to stand next to the passenger window and direct me. Except he forgets a minor detail like the glass coming in his way and smack, heads nose first into the window. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!! I collapsed. I just collapsed laughing, his face was priceless. He has been christened Rudolph and I still crack up every time I am reminded of his face hitting the window like a goldfish charging at full speed only to collide with the glass bowl and look around completely perplexed as to what the hell just happened. 

So here's to history, us being alive to witness it and replacing men with sperm banks!!! Ok, maybe I'm just kidding about the last bit, maybe!!

Meri Christmas!

Christmas was unbelievable. An impromptu plan got ma, cousins, aunt and me to catch a movie at 10: 25 in the morn! Seriously!! What's worse is that we were all there on time. Whew, we were quite a sight, 5 women in CP catching a 10:25 a.m. show. We saw Oye Lucky and man was it fabulous or was it absolutely fabulous. Smashing screenplay, brilliant acting by Abhay Deol and a scathing take on Delhi and punjabis. Ooooff!! Mind blowing. I think I can definitely see it again. We all stumbled out a lil drunk on the movie and incredulous at our own ability to cross the seven seas for a good movie. The afternoon saw us shopping like...well..women in CP and off we trudged to aunt's house for lunch. Post lunch, all I could think of was the bed, the quilt, some sunlight on my face and a fabulous book I was reading calling "Three Cups of Tea". But my cousin had some other plans, I dont know where she got the enthusiasm from but she managed to convince us to step out for another round of shopping. We kids were lured into it with promises of funky jackets and sweaters, but once in the market, all we were made to do was shop for veggies. An hour and a half into this when I took a moment to sit back and I saw us 3 cousins carrying 5 packs of a kilo each of some vague green veggie (Blech), that's when it hit me that we were no more than extra pairs of hands to lug the stuff around while my aunt and mum laughed (ostensibly at some joke, but I saw them look at us, point and guffaw, all this while shaking their heads as if to say 'suckers')

Any how, after 2 hours of this torture, they finally decided to cut us some slack and we headed home for a nice session of tea accompanied with tonnes of plum cake, eateries from Wengers and tiramisu. Maybe it was the food or sheer exhaustion, but my cousin came up with what then seemed like quite a brainwave. Another movie, this time at 7:15 p.m. The only movie playing in the evening was Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi, I really had no inclination to see it, but I wanted to go back to the hall just to see the look on my ma's face. She was aghast at the thought of 2 movies in a day. Ha ha ha ha ha. Quite a sight. So cousins and I sauntered across, bought tickets, came back, finished our tea (read stuffed our faces with everything on the table) and headed back to the movie hall, this time round dad accompanied us. 

The movie was HORRENDOUS!!!!!! It was the singular most horrible movie that I have ever seen and thanks to some friends, I have seen lots of horrid ones. The story was non existent, the acting was hamming, the music was barf inducing, the entire package just made me wonder if the film makers really think the audience is THAT stupid!!!!! Bleary eyed, we fell out over ourselves at 10:30 and made our way back home!!!!

Ma is still in a states of shock, I dont know if it was the fact that she saw 2 movies in a day or just the 2nd movie by itself. I think its the latter!! 

Hope all of you had fun. A very merry christmas to all of you and in case I dont see you again, a Happy New Year!!!

Craig David it is.

First Jovi now Craig David, its ridiculous how my life uncannily resembles these songs. So as of now,

"I'm walking away, from the troubles in my life;

I'm walking away"

Boy and I went about our separate ways a lil while ago. Both of us are moving on and with the proverbial 'deadline' looming large, are meeting new people in the good ol 'Indian Arranged Marriage' manner. We both seem to love the attention. So much so for taking tough calls. 

All I want is everything, am I asking too much?

I never thought I'd say this, but Bon Jovi suddenly makes sense. If and when that ever happens to you, that's when you know your life has hit rock bottom. 

So I am completely confused and totally clueless about what I want. I am great at taking decisions and can do so even under the most stressful conditions, but when it comes to taking decisions about my own life, I am as confused as a kid with the attention span of a gold fish, let loose in a candy store. I want to do everything, eat everything, go everywhere, drown myself completely in work one day in His arms the other and travel for the next six months with a false passport and under a false name. I want to do everything! Does this lack of commitment make me a guy? 

Seriously, I have huge issues with commitment, so much so that even though I could afford a car long long ago, it took me a year to find the courage in myself to commit that kinda money in one place. People who envy the ease with which I place orders for lunch for a table of 25 do not know that the reason I manage to decide to quickly is only coz I know that I will get to do this all over again in a while, if I dont like what I get now. But then what do I do when I am to decide who I want to spend the better part of my life with?????

I really wish I could have some expert, with a sort of warrantee card that tells me that THIS is the guy who's best for you and you'll be ecstatically happy with him and everything will work out just fine, you have my word! The problem is compounded by the fact that I still have the notions of marriage being a 'till death do us part' concept, which runs the risk of making a wrong decision loom larger than ever. 

AAAAAAAARRRRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!! HALP!!!!

The financial crisis and its effects on the common man.

Yawn!!! I can't believe the title to my own post. How could I come up with something like that? But I assure you, I aint writing from the perspective of an economist/ MBA/ financial advisor/ wealth manager or the billion other types of people who've already offered their two bits on this topic. What I have to say is something a lil more intimate.

Diwali, the Indian festival of lights (read partying, drinking, bingeing, gambling, making merry) is 6 days away. The festivities started about a month ago with the smaller festivals that lead up to this grand finale. India, especially north India like with everything else, tends to go a lil overboard with the celebrations. In the true flashy, opulent, ostentatious fashion local to north India, Diwali is also the time for people to indulge in some good old fashioned 'one upmanship' in terms of diwali presents for near and dear ones. The presents start flowing in a good fortnight before the actual festival and comparisons are inevitable. In true materialistic fashion, the fondness/ closeness/ intimacy/ depth of a relation is measured by the grandeur of his/ her present. A simple box of sweets to silverware to cell phones to the latest gizmo on the stands, diwali presents range far and wide. 

This year however, the celebrations are a lil muted.  

I was speaking with S over the phone and she remarked that maybe the recession is finally affecting the common man, coz this year, with 6 days to go, she's only received 4 diwali presents, one shoddier than the other. 

That's what got me thinking. 

Well, so much so for the long winded topic.

In other news, the north Indian winters are setting in. It is my favourite time of the year and I would've loved it this year too, if it weren't for this dratted cold. My sniffles, throat and fever are at their all time best and I am still trudging in to work. No my boss is not an ogre, in fact he  told me today to stay at home and then when I insisted on coming over and wrapping up work he pointed out that I am addicted to coming to work. Sheesh!!! I need to reanalyze my life. 

The Dilemma

I am currently surrounded by single women. No, this is not some guy's fantasy coming true. It's just the bare (pun unintended) truth. I am currently a single/ not so single/ confused person, but 97.35% of all my female friends, are surprise surprise...SINGLE! 

Now one would wonder what so many smart, funny, mostly attractive, well educated women are doing at this age in their lives when they should be married or at least on the anvil. Well, honestly, I wonder too. But then that's about all that we do. 

Being in our late 20's in north India doesn't do too much to bolster our single status. Its not like we're feminists who have sworn off marriage completely, but lets face it, we aren't married, we dont see ourselves married in the near future and frankly, I think we're scared out of our wits about the entire institution. 

Most of our discussions centre around the acute dearth of nice men in the world. Seriously, is it too much to ask for a genuine, nice guy? Nothing out of the ordinary, no Brad Pitt, no millionaire, no prose spouting intellectual freak, just a nice guy, with a pleasant disposition, basic manners, family, a decent education, presentable looks, warm, caring and hard working guy. Is that too much to ask for? Apparently it is. 

Our other issue being the decision about marriage. We dont have a problem with the institution. We dont advocate living in. But how in heavens name do you take the most important decision in your life? Seriously, all you married ones out there, do me a favour, drop me a line and let me know how you know for sure. Do you believe in soulmates? Are you convinced of The One for each one of us? How will we know if he is The One?

And if you give me crap like "gut feeling", "bells tinkling" "cows blinking", I'll hunt you down and shoot you.